#but I have to admit... I don't like that the dogs are out

[lyricwritesprose]

At first, I really did think it was just because Landon had been struck by lightning. That was where I found him, you see—in the middle of Bryley's Woods, in a clearing, where it sure looked like lightning had struck and set things on fire. I am still not sure why he called me for help, considering that I have all the reasons in the world to tell him where to get off—except I'm increasingly thinking it might be because my name is Aashvonne (blame my Mom) and that puts me at the very top of his contact list.

The thing is, Landon was not a good guy. And I'm not just talking about all the things he put me through, I'm talking about everyone. Pretty much everyone knew that if you loaned Landon money you'd never see it again, that if he gave his word on something he'd have gone back on it by sundown and accuse you of lying about it, and the less said about his string of relationships the better. But the few anecdotes I've heard about being struck by lightning, there are sometimes personality changes or at least a renewed perspective on life, so I wasn't that surprised to find him unusually quiet rather than raucous and overly friendly. I tried to talk him into going to a doctor, but I wasn't going to try to wrestle with him about it.

We live in the same apartment complex, though, so Landon was there when we dug the stray kitten out of the dumpster—in fact, he did a lot of the digging, which shocked the hell out of me. Landon, willingly making himself dirty when someone else could be bothered into doing the work for him? We brought the poor little thing into Landon's apartment (which was astonishingly clean considering that he was between girlfriends) and drew a bath. The kitten let out a long drawn out wail.

Landon startled me by making the exact same sound back at him.

I have to admit, I jumped slightly. People meow back at cats, but they usually don't meow like cats. Not to that extent. "I think that means he's unhappy," Landon added.

"He's covered in shit," I said, "literally. Here, I think I've got the water right, hand him over." I looked at the kitten. "Also I think he may be a she. Ginger and white, that's a female pattern, isn't it?"

"You're the expert on cats, Vonnie," Landon said. The kitten made another protest as I put her into the warm water and tried a gentle scrub. Landon repeated that one, too, with just as uncanny a degree of mimicry. "Sorry, I'll stop. I don't think there's a huge amount of meaning in it anyway. Just, 'unhappy, unhappy, knock it off.'"

"You are going to be much happier if you're clean, dingus," I told the kitten. She was deeply unimpressed.

After that—and after Landon, who had always said he disliked cats, adopted Her Ladyship Dingus Creamsicle Loudly Von Dumpster, I started paying a little more attention.

Landon had a magnificent ability to make it through a conversation with someone without much information on where he knew them from, or indeed, in many cases, their name. I probably wouldn't have noticed except that I'm so bad with names and faces that I had to pick up a few tricks. He was using them all.

He was also using, I don't know, slightly lawyerly language. He'd hedge his bets rather than outright promising something. Which, on the bright side, meant less extravagant promises, so it wasn't a bad thing, just—different.

And he wasn't going out at night. Like. Virtually at all. From a guy who used to be all about clubs and parties, that was actually a pretty big change.

There had been a few strange things happening around town, for sure—the weirdest, and also closest to the apartments, being a couple of cops being chased away by "ball lightning" when they had been threatening a Deaf Black kid for not immediately complying—but I had no reason to connect any of that stuff to Landon. Until I came down with flu. (And yes, I got the shot, but that happened to a lot of people last winter; sometimes an unexpected strain wins, for whatever reason.) Sick as a dog, fragile-feeling as a horse—Landon was the last person I would have asked for help before, but then, he was a bit different now.

And he was lovely to me. Fed me soup, brought me my toothbrush at my bedside, all sorts of caretaking stuff. I wasn't even thinking of the changes in him until I was ready to go to sleep that night, and he said, "Good night, Vonnie," and turned off the light—

And I saw that his eyes were glowing emerald green. Not like a cat's eyes. Could have sworn these were lit up from within.

There was a frozen moment. I think we were both wondering what he would do to preserve the secret. Personally, I was also thinking about the ball lightning those cops encountered. They'd said it was green, not green-tinted, but a deep, saturated color. Like this.

"Is." I swallowed. "Is there anything else you want me to call you? You know. Like a nickname."

"It's just Landon." Landon sounded a bit unsteady, as if I'd scared the shit out of him too, by seeing.

"Okay. I'm cool with that."

"There—wasn't much left of the old Landon. When I got there. But he did want to do better, to be better—to have a second chance, I guess. Which is why…" He trailed off. "I don't know if that makes it better or worse."

"Yeah, I'm going to have to figure that out myself," I said. Fuck of an emotional brick to hit someone with, but I suppose it was emotional bricks all the way down. "Landon? Thanks for coming over. With the soup."

I couldn't quite tell from the light in the hallway, or the glow from his eyes, but I think he smiled and relaxed a little bit. "Anytime I can."

Your “friend” has been replaced by a doppelgänger. You aren’t sure where it came from or what it is under the disguise. But you know one thing; you prefer it over the original.

[kedreeva]

I don't know what it is about fresh sugar snap peas but i see them and go into a fugue state where i must have them i must i will hunter-gather them from the side of the road and start wolfing them down like a starving feral dog happening upon a carstruck moose and then it's ten minutes later and I've eaten half a pound of them (or loaded 2lbs of them and two packages of growing seeds into my cart somehow???). last summer we went strawberry picking so I could make jam and stuff, and on the way back in to pay, I saw sugarsnap plants and had to restrain myself from swerving to a stop, but I still parked and just started grabbing handfuls of them as soon as I was out of the car and my partner didn't have to drag me off of the plants but only because i only have so much space in my hands, and we then had to admit to my crimes at the pay window because we didn't get a container at the start to harvest them but the guys just waved us off and I ate them like candy on the way home and I would do it again in a heartbeat with zero forethought what is in them that my body is lacking because it's gotta be something

[dreamwreaver]

because Alastor has already canonically called Charlie good girl, she must return the favor by calling him good boy

honestly wanna see a fanfic do this where Alastor does what he's asked after Charlie wore him down after his incessant complaints and excuses. then once he concedes, she does what he did to her last time to mock him: she pats him on his head and chirps "Good boy!" and walks away, leaving a stunned demon who has unknowingly gained a praise kink

Ask and ye shall receive. Well, less of a fic and more of a ficlet but, I have something cooking for Valentine's Day I really wanna finish in time so...

As much as he adored his dearest Charlie, Alastor had to admit she could be as tenacious as a junkyard dog with a bone when an idea got into her head, and unfortunately in this instance he was the bone.

"Please Al?" She laced her fingers together in front of her chest, tucking them under her chin as she made her eyes as big as possible and fluttered her lashes at him, black lips pursed in a tempting pout.

Overall the effect would have been ridiculous on anyone else. But since it was his Charlie... ugh, when had he become so weak?

"Darling we've been over this," his frustration was about as sturdy as a rock sunk into the sea, worn down and eroded by the battering of the waves, "I don't particularly care for men in general, fathers in particular, and your father most especially. And the feeling is certainly mutual."

He did enjoy getting the fallen angel's... he'd say goat if he didn't find the prospect gauche and insulting to his sweetheart. And it did so sting the tiny would be tyrant that his own flesh and blood had chosen to be with not just a sinner, but the one sinner he hated above everyone else. A fact that Alastor took almost as much pleasure in as he took from Charlie herself. Nevertheless...

"But it'll be fun!"

Alastor resisted the ungentlemanly urge to snort in derision, "For whom, exactly?"

Charlie opened her mouth to counter, but stopped short when she realized he was right. That didn't mean she was going to stop trying though.

"Alright, fine," she huffed, "I know it's not going to be fun, for you or for him but... Al this is my dad. And sure he hasn't always been the most..."

"Caring? Affectionate? Able to prevent you from developing daddy issues?" He paused and looked at her, "Please, stop me when you hear something you like; I can go all day!"

"Present," Charlie emphasized the word, "But he's trying to be better, to fix our relationship. And I want that too."

"By all means dearest," Alastor held out his hands as if to demonstrate there was nothing up his sleeve, "I'm certainly not stopping you from seeing the man. Go to the dinner, have fun, and then when you get home I'll make you a proper meal."

"Al," Charlie's sweet mouth was set in a pout as she looked at him, "You can't just beg off anything that has to do with my parents. Like it or not, they're the rulers of Hell and I'm the princess. I have duties, expectations, and I want you to be part of that part of my life."

"I am perfectly fine being the ever feared Radio Demon. While I appreciate you thinking I'm worthy of being prince consort it's not a title that I exactly covet."

Alastor knew he'd said the wrong thing as soon as it left his mouth. Charlie's whole expression dropped.

"No, I mean," since when had talking ever been so difficult for him, "I will stay with you for an eternity my dearest. In whichever way you'll deign to have me. But despite how much I enjoy power, that isn't why I'm with you."

"I know," she replied quietly, fiddling with her hair as she was wont to do when her emotions were too much and the energy needed to be expended somewhere, "But being with me means being with all of me. I accept every part of you."

If his heart was still beating it might very well have tightened in his chest. He knew all of this already. It was one of the reasons he loved her.

"And I accept all of you my darling demon belle," he replied, "But I cannot in good conscience find it in myself to attend what would only be a disaster of a dinner with your father."

She resorted to pleading again, this time keeping her hands clasped low and using her arms to draw attention to her already ample chest. And again, he was left wondering when he'd become so weak-minded that a woman's breasts were of any interest to him. No wait, that was wrong, it wasn't any woman who could catch his eye. It was specifically because it was Charlie that he was distracted in the first place.

"You're my partner, the one I chose," Charlie had moved closer, placing her hands at his lapels against his chest, "If my dad doesn't like it then he can fucking deal. I'm not going to make all the sacrifices in fixing our relationship. You and I are a package deal, if he wants to see me, he needs to get used to seeing you."

It was easy to forget sometimes that Charlie was in fact a demon, such was her sweet and optimistic -if a bit crass at times- nature. However, Alastor felt his grin turn giddy, such pointed cruelty as to make her own sire suffer Alastor's presence if he wanted time with his child? Having the fact that a man the devil himself couldn't stand at his table, with full knowledge of what sorts of things people in committed relationships got up to rubbed in his face? Oh that was far too good an opportunity to pass up.

"Alright," he relented. But in truth he probably would have given in anyways. Alastor found that since he'd given his heart to Charlie there wasn't anything he could really deny her, "I'll attend, but don't-"

"I don't expect you and my dad to be best friend," Charlie rolled her eyes but her smile softened the sass, "Just... civil," a pause, "ish."

"I'll endeavor to do my best,"

"Thank you," she pressed a kiss against his cheek, "And maybe if you stay on your best behavior there'll be some... quid pro quo,"

Alastor wasn't quite able to swallow the half moan half growl that rumbled from within at her words.

Later that evening they stood waiting to be received by the king of hell before being seated. It was so like him to keep them waiting. At least there were plenty of portraits of his beloved to keep him occupied.

"Remember," Charlie whispered as a servant hurried into the hall.

"Best behavior," Alastor whispered back, "Yes dearest I know."

Charlie stared at him a moment, then with a sly smile and a dangerous gleam in her eye she leaned up to speak directly in his ear,

"Good boy," she purred, making things worse by gently patting him on the head, "Very good boy."

As she began striding away from him with a deliberate swing of her supple hips Alastor smiled so tightly his molars began to grind. Oh sweet Charlotte, how naive. She'd only asked him to play nice with her father. She never said anything about herself.

Hope you like it Nonny!

[silvershadow1711]

I have (mostly) put Arcane s2 from my mind because, for as much as I liked s1, it didn't grab hold of me and demand all my attention. Arcane joins Game of Thrones in the "things I liked that were pretty fucking great at the start and ended up being such massive trainwrecks that 100% of the enjoyment now comes from hearing in-depth critiques about it" category. But there's something that bothers me that I haven't really seen anyone else bring up.

Sevika. Specifically, Sevika's new role as a councilor. The "you lack media literacy" crowd cheers and applauds and weeps tears of joy because this is such a major victory for Zaun, it's a sign that things will be better! The critical crowd (rightly) points out that, given that everything the council does is by vote and everyone else on the council visibly hates her, Sevika will be outvoted any time she tries bring up measures that will help Zaun. But that's not my issue.

Who decided that Sevika gets to be a councilor?

That's not a snarky insult- seriously; who made the choice that this woman gets to represent Zaun?

Did the people of Zaun have an election? (If so, how? Who organized it? What counts as an eligible voter? Is Zaun a true democracy or are there representitives?) Because if they did, I kind of doubt that the majority of people really want Silco's gaurd dog deciding what happens to them. "Oh, but she was only following Silco because she cares about Zaun--" would the average Zaunite see it that way? Would the average Zaunite who we would assume would be part of the voting body see the enforcer for the (former) leader of the chembarons who we have been shown doing nothing but commiting acts of violence in Silco's name and think "yeah, she totally has our best interests at heart"? The one time we see her trying to rally Zaun and call for unity, not one person there wants to hear the shit coming out of her mouth... and these are the revolutionaries! The Firelights and Jinxers, the people who would most want change, still don't want to throw their chips in with Sevika!

So then... the councilors maybe? Did the councilors choose Sevika to join? Why would they? At best, they don't know her and she's some random Zaunite to them. At worst, they know exactly who she is, in which case, it's even less likely that they'd allow her to be on the council. No one in Piltover is going to want shit to do with someone that intrinsically linked with Silco and therefore Jinx.

Did she just... show up? Did they put out a "Help Wanted: Inquire Within" sign and Sevika was the only person who asked for the job? Or did she force her way in, demand a seat and threaten to kill them if they didn't give her a place at the table?

This is what happens when you don't give a shit about the world you're writing for. When you see the setting as nothing more that different action set pieces for cool fight scenes to take place in, rather than a place populated by actual people. This is what happens when you shrink your cast down to a handful of named characters; anything important that happens has to include the named characters, even if it makes no sense in-universe (see: Bronn, a man who admits he doesn't know what a loan is, being the Master of Coin in GoT).

[lunacchi]

Drew my favorite boy's new resplendent 💙

[kyouka-supremacy]

My Akutagawa toxic trait is that I'll die of pain before willingly taking a painkiller

[loving-jack-kelly]

had my first day at my new job today and one of my coworkers is about to start reading priory and is currently reading some book about gay pirates and another has already offered to help me get a dog so. feeling good vibes

[knifegremliin]

you know it's kinda funny that lilo was meant to be a family dog, one we got because my mom wasn't doing well with the loss of our one dog. and when she took me to meet her, i was so apprehensive because i am Not a puppy person at all, and really did NOT want to do a puppy. but i gave in because that little puppy just gave it her ALL trying to convince me.

and now here we are, lilo being very obviously attached to me and me being so unbelievably attached to her (i will not admit this out loud).

something went wrong here (i love her so much)

[smiletimeisrunningout]

I'm rewatching new girl and I had forgotten how much I shipped Jess and Schmidt of all things in s1 and at least first half of s2 (I don't remember when/if I stopped, but he's so HUMAN and genuine when interacting with her, especially when Jess vents over things, and Jess is always extra sweet with him?)

[vivanightcity]

there being a single moment where Kasper has pause about Varric feeling... not right...

cause Varric and his entire life of not existing anywhere until a few years earlier when he showed up in Tevinter and the shadow dragons helped put together a story and a surname, did a damned good job hiding who he was

so when definitely real Varric says his advice for befriending abominations is 'don't'.... well.

Like I see it as Kasper being aware Varric did not approve of what happened, and wasn't Anders biggest fan at all, but he respected and cared for Hawke enough, who did approve and maybe even had a hand in it, that he'd never be vocally shitty around Kasper.

But. Solas not knowing this. Not knowing who Kasper actually is, just knowing him as Rook, as Kasper Mercar, doesn't fully understand how much was missing in his imitation, and that the only reason it really worked as well was because Kasper was so fucking desperate to hold onto anyone in his life cause of the constant loss that he would already overlook these inconsistencies, helping along that blood magic manipulation of reality and perception nicely.

So in the end, Kasper dismisses that as Varric is recovering, he's sometimes saying stuff he wouldn't with a clearer mind.

[classicintp]

Goddammit I miss that cat.

[snekdood]

i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.

[artisanalpeanutbutter]

Not gonna lie

I dont think I'll ever forgive my parents for how poorly they mishandled our dog's health. I constantly felt as though it was my fault even though I quite literally couldn't do any more than i did. I still feel as though it was my fault. He deserved so much fucking better. I love him, and he had to endure such horrible skin problems because my parents refused to take him to a better vet because they were convinced the one they went to was fine. Even though I protested them for YEARS. I tried so fucking hard to get them to see what was going on but they just let it get worse and worse. They would never listen. And I couldn't take him somewhere on my own because I was a kid with no money. My sibling was too busy to notice. And my mom couldn't accept that it was her fault, and that she could've done better. I think she knows now but is still denying it to herself. My dad, quite frankly, didn't care.

[maskedbyghost]

arranged marriage with simon. yes i am talking about this again.

simon doesn’t talk much about the marriage at first, but his actions say it all. he insists on carrying your bags, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, and making sure you eat enough during missions. you don't ask him why, but it's clear he's claiming the role of protector, even if this was supposed to be temporary.

he won’t admit it, but simon begins to get used to the little domestic routines. you cooking dinner, him taking care of repairs around the house. it feels too natural, and although he never says anything, he’s already mentally putting the two of you into that “forever” category.

the first time you mention needing space or wanting to stay in a separate room, simon just gives you a look. "what do you mean, separate? we’re married." he’s not joking either. to him, this isn’t a temporary arrangement anymore. if you try to argue, he’ll just pull you close and mutter in your ear, "ring’s on your finger. means you’re mine." and that’s the end of the conversation.

he starts doing small things for you that a husband would—restocking your favorite snacks, making sure your gun is cleaned before missions, and slipping extra blankets on your side of the bed when it’s cold.

after some time, he’s not shy about touching you anymore—brushing a hand against your arm, holding you a little too close when you’re out in public. the more time passes, the more his touches become possessive, like he’s reminding you who you belong to now.

simon is up early, always. you’ll wake up to the smell of coffee, and he’ll have a cup ready for you without asking. if you take your time getting out of bed, he’ll mutter, "c’mon, mrs. riley. don’t make me drag you out." but there’s always a smile on his face.

when you share a bed, simon always pulls you into him at night. no matter how much space you take up at first, by morning, you’re wrapped up in his arms. if you stir in your sleep or seem restless, he’ll murmur, "got you, lovie," without fully waking up, his grip tightening as if to remind you he’s there, keeping you safe.

simon doesn’t open up easily, but after a particularly intense moment, he’ll lean in close, his forehead resting against yours, and he’ll whisper, "don’t care if it was for a mission or not. you’re the only one for me now." it’s not a grand declaration, but the sincerity in his voice makes your heart race.

simon will leave subtle marks of possession on you—his dog tags hanging around your neck, his scent clinging to your clothes, and his bite marks on your skin after an especially heated night. "need everyone to know who you belong to," he’ll growl against your skin, his lips trailing kisses down your neck.

he also has an odd obsession with your wedding ring. he’ll turn it on your finger, kissing it softly whenever you’re close. if you ever take it off for some reason, his brow furrows, and he’ll slip it back on. "keep it on, yeah?" his voice is low, almost pleading. "means something to me."

after a particularly dangerous mission where you were almost hurt, simon corners you in the hallway, eyes filled with emotion. "you’re not leaving me," he growls, pinning you against the wall. "ever. understand?" it’s a statement, a vow, and in that moment, you know you’re his forever, and he’s yours.

when you’re lying in bed together, his arms wrapped around you, simon will sometimes whisper, "mine," into your hair. it’s soft, almost inaudible, but you feel it in your bones. he needs the reminder just as much as you do—that you’re his, and he’s never letting you go.

[13thpythagoras]

ah yes, that sweet torch of liberty ending that paragraph that started with..*checks notes* telling me whomst to love??

hheeehehehe now that’s what i call liberty 2023

do not under any circumstances love an angel, you heard em. 

Better not see any angel lovin 

Sweet liberty

Don't fall in love with angels. They're allowed to love you and will do nice things for you. But they still serve heaven and its rules before they serve any being in the universe. The nicest, kindest, angel that you could ever meet, will still watch as thousands die because it's the will of fate, would still smite the undead just for being what they are. If they believe you're someone wrong or evil, even if you're just 'born wrong' they will destroy you. Their fire may warm you, but it's still there to burn heretics.

Fall in love with demons, those angels that have left heaven's will. They may be cruel at times, they all fell for different reasons, and many of them don't take well to being asked to say why. But they have their own will, and if you convince them to do good, they will do good. Even the darkest of demons can be reasoned with, because they already had enough reason to abandon the sky. Their fire may burn you, but it is the torch of liberty.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

I think instead of sacrificing the lives and happiness of queer people as a political ploy we should sacrifice things that are more worthless, like you.

People like you need to be blood eagled on the parliament floor if you think queer people are expendable for your political goals and I’m not kidding.

I'm pretty sure this is my first death threat(?) Or adjacent on Tumblr. Though it is generally indicative that the people who saw that post did not particularly care enough to check what I've already said regarding the tags I left and how wrong I was. Though I'm interested how killing me would particularly solve the issue of the Tory Party implementing dangerous and transphobic legislation, I'm sure it can be explained in a reasonable manner.